Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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