So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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