Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
