You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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