im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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