I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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