we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
