Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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