capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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