We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize