Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
