I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
