just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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