Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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