she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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