Yo dont text me then not text me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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