Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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