I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
