my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
