Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
