I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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