hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
