It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize