Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize