How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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