people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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