Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.