How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.