they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.