some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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