I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize