thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
