No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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