My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
