call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
