Need sex. Gaining weight.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
