this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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