margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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