You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
