so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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