cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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