Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
