who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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