Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
