You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize
