god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
