i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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