I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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