Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
