I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize