Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
