how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so let's talk penis.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
