I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
