Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
