Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
