is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
