I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
