I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
