dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm at about main and main street
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
