Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
