i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
