Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize