nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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