I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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