Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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