operation have a gay friend backfired
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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