Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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