when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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