toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
