Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
